I Like Pie

In between thoroughly tidying and cleaning my flat this weekend, I've been thinking about relationships, and what I want from one, and what I want in my ideal guy. I am concerned that I'll never find a guy who ticks all the boxes. You might say that no one is going to tick all the boxes, and that a guy who ticks most of them is enough, but I've tried that already, and anything that is missing usually becomes the cause of our breakup. Some people might say that I'm limiting myself by having these conditions that a partner must tick, but these conditions are the result of 6 failed relationships (most of them long-term) and are based on past experience, and I think they are quite sensible.

They are:

Career
1. Has a degree
2. Has a non-menial job
3. Works hard at his job and has ambitions to go higher

Family and relationship
1. Wants a family (eventually) and a stable relationship with me
2. Puts me and our family before his family and friends

Personality
1. Is dependable
2. Can articulate his thoughts and feelings with me
3. Respects me
4. Is loyal
5. Has common interests with me, or is willing to explore my interests and show me his interests
6. Has a sense of humour and can make me laugh
7. Is patient and supportive

Physical appearance
1. Is around 180cm tall and physically attractive to me (I don't think I'm being too fussy here. I'm not asking for model looks. And love can make an ugly person beautiful)
2. Is either slim or athletic

I don't think I could remove any of those conditions. But surely such a man does not exist? Or if he does, surely he would be the object of every woman's desire and has already been "caught" by some woman?

In any case, even if such a man did exist, how would I meet him? All I do is go to work or stay at home. I live 3 minutes walk away from work. It's not like I see many new people on my way to and from work. The only times I go out in my leisure time is to do some shopping or go to the cinema on my own. I don't have any close friends to hang out with (no offense to my work mates but I think it's fair to say that they are not close friends who know a lot about me), and I refuse to go to pubs and clubs on my own. I don't want to be that weird person sitting on their own nursing a drink.

I moved to England thinking that I wouldn't be alone. That I'd have Lee. And as long as I had him that was enough. But now I just have 3 cats, who, although cute, can't make up for real human company.

My parents are in Ireland, and although these days they are supportive, I can't confide all my thoughts to them. Yesterday I found myself divulging my worries to my 15 year old sister, who probably didn't really understand, because I have no one else I can talk to.

I don't want to become the crazy cat lady who has no one except her cats.

I saw Transformers 2 today. It was ok. Not brilliant. Had some funny moments that I laughed to, but overall it was too long and part way through I was wondering what time it was and how much longer it was going to go on for, because my legs were stiff. If a film is engaging enough then I wouldn't be wondering that. It was very much a boy's film - lots of explosions, loud noises, Megan Fox pouting with what looks like collagen inflated lips.

I wandered around Basingstoke Festival Place and bought some clothes, a collection of Abba songs, and the first season of Terminator The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I love the series, and I've seen them all to date, so it was a must buy for me. I hope they continue the series.

I've been quite busy for the last 6 months since my last post. The biggest news is that Lee and I broke up yesterday. I'm sad, but it wasn't unexpected, so I'm not bawling my eyes out. We had been struggling to make it work for a while now, and have broken up and gotten back together before, but nothing really changes each time, so I think it would be futile to continue to try.

We'll probably stay friends and talk, or play Lord Of The Rings Online together. But I'm going to focus on myself now and my career. And maybe try to make some new friends, as the only people I hang out with are from work, and I've got no one to really talk to except my friends in Ireland.

Career-wise I've been very busy: learning lots of new technology, like C# and webservices and Oracle stuff.

I've been going to the gym quite often. There's a group of people from work who go at lunchtime, so I go with them 3 times a week. I'm also eating Special K for breakfast every morning instead of hot food like an egg and bacon sandwich (yum!). Cereal is bland and boring, but it has no cholesterol so I'll eat it until I can't stand it anymore.

The second news is that I have a new kitten called Tigger. He's a blue eyed snow bengal cat. He's a creamy colour with caramel coloured spots which should turn into rosettes as he gets older. He's very cute, and he purrs readily, and he sleeps curled up next to my legs when I sleep. He's a pedigree cat, so he was a bit expensive, but I think there's a big difference between his upbringing and my other 2 moggies. I think that pedigree cat breeders deserve that money, because it's quite expensive and time-consuming to bring up kittens so that they are well-socialised. Pedigree kittens have had their vaccinations, have no fleas, have been fed good quality food, are played with every day so that they are used to humans, and have lived in a household environment so they're not scared of household noises. In comparision, when I got Pico and Neko (they are black moggies), they had fleas, they had no vaccinations, they were scared of us and hid for a few days, they didn't like to be picked up, and they had been living in the garden shed with their mother with very little human socialising.

Tigger's name is very apt. Bengal cats are energetic and like to climb. Tigger literally bounces around the flat when he's not asleep. He has glitter on his fur, which looks really cool. Glitter is something unique to bengal cats, where their fur glitters in a metallic way, either gold or pearl, in light. And he's really soft to touch, which I think is another bengal trait.

Pico and Neko reacted very differently when they first met Tigger. Pico was curious and greeted Tigger straight away, and quickly became friends with Tigger, who loves to play with him. Neko hissed at him and sulked for a week. I had to keep Tigger in the bedroom in case she killed him. She can stand to be in the same room as him now, but she still hises sometimes and slaps him when he gets too close. She also started hissing at Pico, because he smells like Tigger. I think Pico now prefers Tigger to his own sister! And Tigger looks up to Pico as a father figure. He follows him around, plays with him by jumping on him, sleeps next to him whenever Pico takes a nap, and even started copying the sounds that Pico makes. He kneads Pico and tries to look for milk (hopefully unsuccessfully!) and Pico cleans him. Pico showed him what to do around the flat, like staring at the fish tank, how to climb into the laundry basket (and how to climb out), and how to scratch the carpet when they want something :(

We're going to my work Christmas party tonight. I'm going to be wearing a Little Black Dress and Lee is going to wear a black suit. We're staying overnight at the hotel and it should be a festive night :)

The kittens are almost adult size now. They're very affectionate, especially Neko. Every morning she sits outside our bedroom door, and when she hears us wake up and talk, she starts meowing and scratching the carpet to be let in. If we let her in she jumps on the bed and comes right up to our faces and sniffs us.

Both the kittens also enjoy sitting on our laps, or next to our keyboards when we're playing games. They sit there and put a paw up every so often at the cursor.

Work is going well. I've received good reviews from my line manager, and he wants me to start filling out my career progression application form now so that I can apply for a promotion as soon as I meet all the criteria.

I have learned a lot more Java since I started, and the latest thing I'm learning is C# and .NET technology. I'm learning about threads, interop user controls (fiddly stuff), streams etc. I'm also learning about unit testing, test driven development, and code reviewing. I've also had training courses on a variety of useful workplace skills, such as report writing, communication and influencing, and presentation skills.

I've done placements in other departments, but I've come to the conclusion that I like being a software developer.

My parents are coming over to London for Christmas. They'll be staying at a friend's empty house. We're going to see them for dinner after we have Christmas dinner at Lee's house. Then I have holidays until January 5th, and I will be relaxing, shopping, and playing games.

My parents are thinking of buying a house in England to live in when they retire. They're looking at 5 bedroom detached houses near where I live now. My dad was insisting that I have to buy a house, at least a 3 bedroom semi-detached, whereas I don't think I can afford one.

On my own salary, I can afford a 50% ownership of a 2 bedroom flat in this area, and it would take me 25 years to pay that back, but he doesn't think it's a good idea to buy a flat. So he came up with a solution: he buys a large house, I live in it with Lee, pay what I currently pay for rent towards the mortgage, rent out the other rooms, and when I want to buy my own house I get my money back. If my parents are still in Dublin after I move out, the rent from the house will pay towards my mortgage. If they move here, then the rent from the house in Dublin will pay towards my mortgage.

I don't want to rent for too long - the money is just going into a black hole. We have seen some very nice houses in Hampshire, and we are going to arrange some viewings soon. I'm quite excited. I've always lived in slightly shitty houses with cheap furnishings, in dodgy estates. Now my parents are determined to get something more luxurious. Houses prices are still falling, and this is an ideal time to buy if you have no problem getting a mortgage.

I used to keep a blog on netsoc, the server of the internet society of my college, but since I have finished and am no longer a student, I don't know how many more years I can continue to use that server.

This will be my blog from now on. My readers should know who I am, so no introduction will follow. The title of this blog has no meaning and no significance. I preferred it to "I'm too boring to think up an original title".

Aoife visited for 2 days this week. I took the days off work and we went to Windsor Castle and Jane Austen's house.

During Aoife's visit, I discovered just what a small world it is.

She told me that John, an ex of mine, had gotten married over the summer. John broke up with me but we stayed friends for a while. I thought we were getting on fairly well when after a few months he suddenly stopped talking to me. I sent him a text and an email, with no response, and I left it at that. I still don't know why he cut off communications, and it annoys me that he so rudely did it with no explanation.

I was curious as to how Aoife would know about John's marriage, and it turns out that Aoife's sister Brid is married to Glen, who once went out with John's now wife for about 6 years, and Glen went to their wedding. Bear in mind that these people were not in the same social circles and didn't hang out together.

It's a small fucking world. It's like you can't get away from the past.

Hearing that an ex is married makes me feel that so much has changed over the last few years. It seemed like I'd never get past the student stage, but now I have a job; I've moved country; I live in a flat with my fiance and our 2 kittens. I'd be pretty pissed with myself if I hadn't moved on with my life, but I have.

Speaking of kittens, they are 3 months old, and very cute. They are affectionate and actively try to sit on our laps. When they are awake they run around like little rascals and chase and fight each other and explore everything. When they are asleep (which is quite often) they sprawl on top of each other on the sofa, or lie on their backs with their little paws in supplication pose. They lick our hands and roll over for us, which is a sign of affection.

Lee and I have been enjoying living together in our own place. We do most things together, such as cooking, cleaning, watching films, and playing games. While waiting for Mines of Moria to come out (the LOTRO expansion) we have been trying out Warhammer Online. The storyline is not very gripping (it's constant war), and the questing requires no reading or knowledge of the lore, but the pvp is fast and fun. LOTRO is great for the lore and atmosphere and gaming community and large scale teamwork in raids, whereas Warhammer is great if you don't have time to do an epic raid which drags while your team go afk or take bios and you just want to kill people. We never got into WoW, because of the l33t kiddies who play it, not to mention the poor graphics. I also have a life, and would rather not do raids that are 8 hours long to get gear that has no value to me in real life.